Sunday, November 30, 2008
here to post...
came back from genting trip...
i felt weak there...
sigh...
what's happening this year,
i got a serious cough there...
i even vomited...(in darsi's room's toilet
)
have blood-shot eyes during the five day everytime i woke up...
cant walk properly at night...
yet,
in the end,
i cant sleep at night,
i stares at the ceiling,
with a poem book in my hands
trying to rethink all those mistakes i made in the past,
trying to imagine what would have happened if those mistakes werent made...
trying to predict on what would happen next and how am i going to avoid mistakes,
i still stumbles when i talk to ppl whom i dont know very well,,
after the conversation ends,
the words i could have used came across my mind,
but its all too late...
i always ponder on the things in the past,
yet i always knew that time cant go back...
i played bowling there...
when our scores were very close,
i start to become serious,,
yet, as always,
im still the loser in the end,
im still someone who cant handle pressure,
my hands tremble,
i know what to do during situations...
but "to know and not do is the same as not knowing it"
i guess pondering things over and over again is just useless,
even if the same things happen again,
i still tremble,
i still cant do things well in a crowd,
must i always be alone to do things well?
the way i speak have changed...
im not showing others my true self,
causing misunderstandings
i try to show who i am in these type of expressions
i try to show confidence in myself
i try to think of plans and advices to help others,
but most of these things i cant handle even if those advices help...
i learn things slowly,
i have to do things a few times before i could even do the basics...
im initially weak now,
im not who i show
dont ask
dont guess
enough said,
no matter how negatively i say of myself,
i would try to improve myself...
thats how everyone should shine
i hope everyone constantly try to improve themselves too...
replying tags...
mun - updated, anyway, ur way of "consoling" is kind of unique, in a funny way
L-oscar - thank you...
xinda - thanks for tagging
michelle - ya
sharphay-jiahui - okok, thanks for tagging
andrew - there is no need of which you should know
10:41 PM
Moonlight shone ~
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